Kink.

BDSM is what started it all for us. It has been the catalyst that has made everything explode. It was the Big Bang that created our ever expanding universe.

It all started with miniature golf.

No, seriously it did. We were playing with our friend who is a Domme in her personal life. Somehow we got on the topic of electric play and we were fascinated by the conversation. She got a kick out of our interest and offered to have us over to her house in Irvine to show us some of her equipment. She made the terrible mistake of handing us the violet wand and all hell suddenly broke loose. We started shocking each other with it and instantly regressed to about the age of 10. Something both powerful and boundless was released.

At this point, we were just platonic friends that knew each other from the 12 step fellowship. She had spent the previous 10 years in relationship with women and he had been completely sexually anorexic, as he had been for most of his life. So we were just dear buddies that cared for each other as dear friends in recovery. That instantly changed when kink was introduced into the mix. Something caught fire. Something exploded. It continues to explode until this very day.

We immediately ordered an electric violet wand for ourselves on amazon.com for $125. Certainly, we never imagined we would use it on each other, but we wanted to explore it further. Boy, were we wrong. We immediately started using it on each other and entered an altered state of another dimension. Time didn't just stop, it ceased to exist entirely. The room was no longer a room, it became a portal into space itself.

We no longer experienced our gender, we no longer were aware of any physical boundaries. We experienced an intimate and powerful connection that could only be explained as one soul to another.

We ordered another accoutrement called a base plate that allows the person touching it to become the actual conductor of the electricity itself. We spontaneously had the same thought at the same time. What would it be like to kiss somebody and have the electricity jump in the air between our lips? So, we naturally and organically kissed each other. Just as expected, a lightning bolt literally jumped between us. Unexpectedly, we fell completely in love in that very moment. We haven't been apart a single day since.

Two weeks later, in a high-octane frenzy, we began construction of a full-time dedicated dungeon in our home. We also moved in together and 10 months later we got married.

Another fascinating development occurred right in the beginning for us. We switched roles. As a result of being sexually abused for 6 years as a child and having endured homelessness, violence, and even more trauma in her adulthood, she always lived from her masculine. She was never safe enough to let go of the need to be in control.

As a result of his childhood incest, he was bred to be passive, and only got to live from his feminine.

We were both shocked that this organically and miraculously turned upside down. As a result, we are now in possession of both energies within each of us individually and feel integrated and whole. What a gift. What a corrective experience. What a metamorphosis.

The other extraordinary element that transpired is a somatic corrective experience for the trauma that was locked in our bodies all of these years. She had one energy catharsis after another, and was able to cry and scream for the first time in over a decade. He discovered his power in the cathartic experience of getting to practice it in a way nothing else ever did. It has been genuinely transformative on every level ever since. It has manifested into all other aspects and categories of our functioning and our lives.

There is also the incomprehensible level of connection that is created when one participates in power exchange. Complete disclosure, complete trust, complete intimacy and unimaginably complete connection. It was the antidote to how we used to live by being dissociative and out of our bodies. It brought us into the moment and present in a way nothing else has ever done.

There's so much more to be said, but that should be communicated only in person.

We certainly don't always engage in power exchange when we are physically intimate together. We certainly don't ever engage in it with others who are not ready, safe, or interested in it. On the other hand, it's been such a wonderful and joyous experience to introduce a few people who had always wanted a taste, but we're too scared to get it.

We have been extraordinarily honored to have been invited into an intimate circle of spectacular people in the Kink community. They have become our confidants, our best friends, the people we share this journey with. It has naturally become an intrinsic part of who we are and how we live. We are so unbelievably grateful for all that it continues to bring to us every day.